{"id":659,"date":"2025-05-06T12:45:37","date_gmt":"2025-05-06T04:45:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gen-e-sis.com\/blog\/2021\/02\/06\/the-one-armed-lesbian-dwarf-thrower\/"},"modified":"2026-03-19T18:36:36","modified_gmt":"2026-03-19T10:36:36","slug":"the-one-armed-lesbian-dwarf-thrower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/the-one-armed-lesbian-dwarf-thrower\/","title":{"rendered":"The One-Armed Lesbian Dwarf Thrower"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"1200\" data-attachment-id=\"1567\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/the-one-armed-lesbian-dwarf-thrower\/dwarf-thrower\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dwarf-thrower.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"800,1200\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"dwarf-thrower\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;This image captures a satirical biblical absurdity: Mary Magdala and Jesus the Nazarene in a moment of divine banter, framed by swirling scrolls, cracked sandals, and symbolic foot rubs. A one-armed lesbian dwarf is mid-throw in the background, hurling a prophet toward a fig tree that\u2019s visibly undergoing spiritual transformation. The palette blends dusty golds with irreverent reds and blues, evoking both ancient parchment and punk irreverence. The scene is rich with paradox\u2014sacred meets surreal, theology meets comedy, and intimacy dances with chaos. It\u2019s a gospel reimagined through the lens of divine regret and sandal-slap punchlines.&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;When sacred intimacy meets surreal confession, even the gospels get a rewrite\u2014with punchlines, paradoxes, and sandal-based theology.&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dwarf-thrower-200x300.jpg\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dwarf-thrower-683x1024.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dwarf-thrower.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1567\" srcset=\"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dwarf-thrower.jpg 800w, https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dwarf-thrower-200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dwarf-thrower-683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/dwarf-thrower-768x1152.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<span class=\"voice-tag\">Religious Parody &#038; Biblical Absurdity<\/span>\n<div class=\"post-intro\">\n  <p>\n    A surreal, satirical dialogue between Mary Magdala and Jesus, blending divine regret, foot rubs, and absurd confessions. This biblical parody rewrites the gospels with punchlines, paradoxes, and sandal-centric theology.\n  <\/p>\n  <!-- Insert media image here -->\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>[Mary Magdala and Jesus the Nazarene sit under a tree, sharing a joint]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mary: What was with that quip you gave to Judah, about the poor?<br>Jesus: What quip?<br>Mary: You know, \u201cthe poor you have with you always\u201d.<br>Jesus: Hmm? Good god! Did I say that?<br>Mary: Yep?<br>Jesus: Holy great grandmother\u2019s chest hair? I\u2019m screwed!<br>Mary: What!?!<br>Jesus: I\u2019ve just circumvented my main agenda! Why oh why are you so good with feet?<br>Mary: You\u2019ve lost me.<br>Jesus: That foot rub beguiled me. My whole body was in heaven!<br>Mary: I am well glad, yet still confused.<br>Jesus: Ahh bugger it! You are a giver, they are all takers. God knows what a mess they will make of it.<br>Mary: Wha?<br>Jesus: You like Judah. I can tell.<br>Mary: I used to. Not anymore.<br>Jesus: You should. He\u2019s wiser than you think.<br>Mary: I don\u2019t trust him.<br>Jesus: Trust! Bah humbug! Hey, did you hear the one about the one-armed lesbian dwarf thrower?<br>Mary: What?<br>Jesus: He was gay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-amazon wp-block-embed-amazon\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"I, Judas: A Novel\" type=\"text\/html\" width=\"678\" height=\"550\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen style=\"max-width:100%\" src=\"https:\/\/read.amazon.com\/kp\/card?preview=inline&#038;linkCode=ll1&#038;ref_=k4w_oembed_rc9f7EOXLFbr2B&#038;asin=B073W3C7JK&#038;tag=genesiscom-20\"><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Religious Parody &amp; Biblical Absurdity A surreal, satirical dialogue between Mary Magdala and Jesus, blending divine regret, foot rubs, and absurd confessions. This biblical parody rewrites the gospels with punchlines, paradoxes, and sandal-centric theology. [Mary Magdala and Jesus the Nazarene sit under a tree, sharing a joint] Mary: What was with that quip you gave [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":916,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wp_rev_ctl_limit":""},"categories":[8,12],"tags":[1169,629,1012,1119,805],"class_list":["post-659","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-philosophy-and-paradox","category-satire-and-subversion","tag-biblical-absurdity","tag-ethical-satire","tag-metaphysical-satire","tag-parody","tag-spiritual-satire"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/jesus-magdala-512.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=659"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2480,"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/659\/revisions\/2480"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/916"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=659"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=659"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/handelbarweb.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=659"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}