Pascal’s Triangle
Pascal’s Triangle: born of Christmas lights, weaponized with virgins, and revered by software engineers. This irreverent history reimagines math as a cosmic joke with algebraic punchlines—where divine symmetry meets debugging rituals, and every equation hides a confession. Prepare for a journey through sacred numerics, theological recursion, and the holy absurdity of structured logic.
Pascal’s triangle was invented by Blaise Pascal during his autistic period. Intending to prove that the shortest distance between two points was a metric foot, he stumbled upon the following pattern achieved by adding the sum of the other to the one before and just a jump to the left.
1
1 1
1 2 1
1 3 3 1
1 4 6 4 1
1 5 10 10 5 1
1 6 15 20 15 6 1
1 7 21 35 35 21 7 1
: :
Blaise got the idea for this triangular configuration while watching light bulbs flash on the family Christmas tree. Incidentally, when one of these bulbs accidentally landed on his head, he came closer to discovering gravity than a cure for cancer, but managed to avoid both epiphanies with unequal dexterity.
Applications
The applications of the triangle are one of none and many. While most have been documented, others have been held in trust by deceased members of the Da Vinci Code of Ethics, hence the obtuse smile on the Moaning Lisa’s poker face. A few follow.
Navigation
Provides a tracking overlay for relocating ships or socks loitering in the Bermuda Triangle.
Mathematics
The triangle can be used to determine the coefficients of algebraic equations to prove that “89 is really 99″ but this is more of a theological statement and thus not subject to mathematical rigor mortis.
Music
Can be played in any orchestra having as many violins as violinists, as long as the music isn’t two squared. This is especially true when Mars trine Venus. The triangle’s appearance in orchestral pieces has fallen from favour since very few musicians have ever mastered it.
Military
Was used in the Golf War to triangulate the location of missing birdies and bogeys.
An effective method of killing the enemy is to lure them into Pascal’s Triangle with the promise of lots of virgins and then drop lots of virgins on top of them from a great height.
Ecology
By joining four triangles to form a pyramid it is possible to locate water in any river, as long it’s not the Nile.
Software Engineering
When applied to software that has run adrift of its specification, Pascal’s triangle (also known as the Holy Trinity of the Model-View-Controller, as referred to by the Gang of Three) allows you (or your kin) to reverse engineer all your executables back to a infinite series of poetic goto statements.
Harry is a recovering satirist, part-time philosopher, and full-time tinkerer of tags. He once wrote a poem about recursion that never ended, and a JavaScript confession that crashed three browsers. His archive spans two decades of metaphysical mischief, theological punchlines, and nostalgic detours. He believes in the transformative power of satire, the elegance of well-placed meta tags, and the occasional necessity of poetic nonsense.
A kaleidoscope of mathematical absurdity, historical parody, and genre-hopping satire. It’s dense with references and surreal logic.