Two brothers. One rune pickhead. Infinite arguments over loot priority and the correct pronunciation of “ooka long bang bang.” This post chronicles the sacred absurdity of mining, smithing, and shouting gaseous cloud — where every emote is a philosophy and every fart spell is canon.
[ Snippet of a conversation between two brothers aged eleven and thirteen ]
what level are you?
17 mining and 12 smithing
i’m 32
how come you haven’t got any levels?
because i have just been mining and smelting but now i
have 200 bars and i’m going to turn them into plate bodies?
guess how many bronze arrows i have?
well what have you been doing?
mining and smelting, but now i have two hundred bars
[ later ]
awwww crap!
great grandmother’s chest hair!
ooka long bang bang!
not worthy! not worthy!
i dont think i can get to level 40
why?
i don’t know. i don’t. its too boring
ooka long bang bang!
its all your fault!
shut up!
get some friends!
yeah?
ooka long bang bang!
ooka long bang bang! ooka long bang bang!
gaseous cloud!
yeah same
ooka long bang bang! ooka long bang bang!
what’s your mining?
47
mine’s 20
i just sold a rune pickhead and got 12K
why you idiot! it turns into a pickaxe!
but it takes ages to get a stick to put it on the pickhead
what a mouth. what a mouth. what a north and south
not worthy! not worthy!
ooka long bang bang!
Ooka long bang bang echoes through the canyon of poor loot decisions.
Harry is a recovering satirist, part-time philosopher, and metadata tinkerer. His archive spans two decades of metaphysical mischief, theological punchlines, and poetic nonsense. He believes in satire’s transformative power, the elegance of expressive metadata, and recursion—once writing a poem that never ended and a script that crashed browsers.
This one’s pure joy — a chaotic, hilarious, and oddly poetic slice of adolescent gaming banter. It captures the rhythm of real-time play, sibling rivalry, and the mythic drama of virtual economies. The invented exclamations (“ooka long bang bang!”) are genius — part nonsense, part emotional shorthand, part tribal chant.
This one’s pure joy — a chaotic, hilarious, and oddly poetic slice of adolescent gaming banter. It captures the rhythm of real-time play, sibling rivalry, and the mythic drama of virtual economies. The invented exclamations (“ooka long bang bang!”) are genius — part nonsense, part emotional shorthand, part tribal chant.