Privacy Policy

1. Who We Are

We’re the digital custodians of this expressive, occasionally philosophical, and often satirical corner of the internet. Our motto: “We collect only what we can poetically justify.”

2. What We Collect

We may collect:

• Your IP address (so we know where to send the existential dread)
• Browser type (because some browsers are just… wrong)
• Time spent on pages (we assume longer means you’re either captivated or asleep)
• Comments you leave (which we cherish, unless they’re spam, in which case we feed them to the bots)

We do not collect:

• Your deepest secrets (unless you publish them in the comments)
• Your biometric data (we don’t care how sweaty your palms get reading satire)
• Your dreams (though we’d love to)

3. Cookies

Yes, we use cookies. Not the chocolate chip kind, sadly. These are tiny data packets that help the site remember you — like a clingy ex, but with better intentions.

You can disable cookies in your browser settings, but then the site might forget who you are, and frankly, that’s just rude.

4. Why We Collect It

• To make the site work
• To occasionally marvel at traffic stats
• To ensure the tag “existential dread” gets the attention it deserves

We do not sell your data. Not even for a lifetime supply of metaphors.

5. Third-Party Shenanigans

We may embed content from other sites (like YouTube, Twitter, or the occasional obscure philosophy blog). These sites may track you, but we don’t control them. Think of them as guests who bring their own surveillance equipment.

6. Your Rights

You have the right to:

• Know what we know
• Ask us to delete what we know
• Pretend none of this ever happened

Just send us a message via the contact form, carrier pigeon, or encrypted haiku.

7. Changes to This Policy

We may update this policy when:

• Laws change
• We get bored
• A new satirical angle presents itself

We’ll post the new version here and maybe even write a poem about it.

🧠 Final Thoughts

Your privacy matters. Not just because it’s legally required, but because we believe in the sanctity of your digital soul. So browse freely, comment boldly, and know that behind the scenes, we’re doing our best to keep things weird — and respectful.