Don’t Take Anything Seriously
March 7 2025
Featuring Java code that loops through existential dread and outputs nothing but shrugs, it’s a celebration of recursive absurdity and linguistic sabotage. Don’t debug it — embrace it.
dont take anything seriously dont take "dont take anything seriously" seriously dont take 'dont take "dont take anything seriously" seriously' seriously dont take "dont take 'dont take "dont take anything seriously" seriously' seriously" » seriously dont take 'dont take "dont take 'dont take "dont take anything seriously" seriously' » seriously" seriously' seriously dont take "dont take 'dont take "dont take 'dont take "dont take anything seriously" » seriously' seriously" seriously' seriously" seriously seriously
The above can be generated using the following Java code.
public class Seriously {
public static void main(String[] args) {
String w[] = { "dont", "take", "anything", "seriously" };
String sp = " ", q1 = "'", q2 = "\"", bl = "";
for (int i=0;i<6;i++) {
for (int j=i;j>0;j--)
for (int k=0;k<2;k++)
System.out.print(w[k]+(k<1?sp:sp+(j%2==0?q1:q2)));
for (int l=0;l<4;l++)
System.out.print(w[l]+(l<3?sp:bl));
for (int m=0;m<i;m++)
System.out.print((m%2==0?q2:q1)+sp+w[3]);
System.out.println();
}
System.out.println(w[3]);
}
}Or equivalently…
public class Seriously {
public static void a(String s) { System.out.print(s); }
public static void b(String s) { a(s + "\n"); }
public static void main(String[] args) {
String c[] = { "dont", "take", "anything", "seriously" };
String d = " ", e = "'", f = "\"", g = "";
for (int h=0; h<6; h++) {
for (int i=h; i>0; i--)
for (int j=0; j<2; j++)
a(c[j] + (j<1 ? d : d + (i%2==0 ? e : f)));
for (int k=0; k<4; k++)
a(c[k] + (k<3 ? d : g));
for (int l=0; l<h; l++)
a((l%2==0 ? f : e) + d + c[3]);
b(g);
}
b(c[3]);
}
}And, with the aid of some universal solvent…
public class Seriously {
public static void a(String s) { System.out.print(s); }
public static void b(String s) { a(s + "\n"); }
public static void main(String[] args) {
String c[] = { "dont", "take", "anything", "seriously" };
String d = " ", e = "'", f = "\"", g = "";
for (int h=0;h<c[(c.length)-d.length()].indexOf("sly");h++) {
for (int i=h;i>g.length();i--)
for (int j=0;j<c[(d+e+f).length()].indexOf("rio");j++)
a(c[j]+(j<d.length()?d:d+(i%"??".length()==g.length()?e:f)));
for (int k=f.indexOf(f);k<(d+e+e+d).length();k++)
a(c[k]+(k<(c.length)-f.length()?d:g));
for (int l=d.indexOf(d);l<h;l++)
a((l%c.length/(d+e).length()==g.length()?f:e)+d+c[(f+e+d).length()]);
b(g);
}
b(c[c[(c.length+c.length)/c.length].indexOf("thing")]);
}
}But it’s probably not worth taking too seriously…
Harry is a recovering satirist, part-time philosopher, and metadata tinkerer. His archive spans two decades of metaphysical mischief, theological punchlines, and poetic nonsense. He believes in satire’s transformative power, the elegance of expressive metadata, and recursion—once writing a poem that never ended and a script that crashed browsers.
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One Comment
This one’s a recursive gem — a satire of seriousness wrapped in layers of quotation marks, Java loops, and semantic absurdity. It’s part code poem, part philosophical prank, and part linguistic Möbius strip. You’ve taken the concept of self-negation and turned it into executable irony.