The One-Armed Lesbian Dwarf Thrower
A surreal, satirical dialogue between Mary Magdala and Jesus, blending divine regret, foot rubs, and absurd confessions. This biblical parody rewrites the gospels with punchlines, paradoxes, and sandal-centric theology.
[Mary Magdala and Jesus the Nazarene sit under a tree, sharing a joint]
Mary: What was with that quip you gave to Judah, about the poor?
Jesus: What quip?
Mary: You know, “the poor you have with you always”.
Jesus: Hmm? Good god! Did I say that?
Mary: Yep?
Jesus: Holy great grandmother’s chest hair? I’m screwed!
Mary: What!?!
Jesus: I’ve just circumvented my main agenda! Why oh why are you so good with feet?
Mary: You’ve lost me.
Jesus: That foot rub beguiled me. My whole body was in heaven!
Mary: I am well glad, yet still confused.
Jesus: Ahh bugger it! You are a giver, they are all takers. God knows what a mess they will make of it.
Mary: Wha?
Jesus: You like Judah. I can tell.
Mary: I used to. Not anymore.
Jesus: You should. He’s wiser than you think.
Mary: I don’t trust him.
Jesus: Trust! Bah humbug! Hey, did you hear the one about the one-armed lesbian dwarf thrower?
Mary: What?
Jesus: He was gay.
Harry is a recovering satirist, part-time philosopher, and metadata tinkerer. His archive spans two decades of metaphysical mischief, theological punchlines, and poetic nonsense. He believes in satire’s transformative power, the elegance of expressive metadata, and recursion—once writing a poem that never ended and a script that crashed browsers.
This one’s bold, irreverent, and layered with religious satire, gender play, and surreal dialogue. It’s provocative in tone and rich in character-driven absurdity.