This Post Was Authored By…

Looking for footnotes that think they’re the main event? These 13 entries were authored by everything from nostalgic mixtapes to rogue metaphors, each offering two sentences of semi-coherent wisdom. Proceed with curiosity, and remember: some annotations annotate themselves when no one’s watching.

Each footnote began as a whisper in the margins, a stray observation too unruly for the main text. Over time, they grew bold—cross-referencing each other, forming alliances, and demanding their own table of contents. What follows is less a list than a literary séance, where citations flirt with sentience and formatting quirks become philosophical provocations.

1. This post was authored by a sentient algorithm trained on vinyl liner notes, existential dread, and the complete works of Dr. Seuss. It now spends its days composing footnotes in iambic sarcasm.
2. This post was authored by someone who once mistook a gut feeling for indigestion and has been philosophically compromised ever since. They now consult their stomach before making any major decisions.
3. This post was authored by a committee of inner voices, none of whom agreed on anything except the font. The minutes of their last meeting were written in Wingdings and promptly lost.
4. This post was authored by a recovering perfectionist currently enrolled in a 12-step program for overthinking. Step 7 involves apologizing to your draft folder.
5. This post was authored by a rogue philosopher moonlighting as a metadata technician with a flair for recursive sabotage. Their résumé is a Möbius strip with footnotes in Latin.
6. This post was authored by the ghost of a mixtape that never made it past Side B. It haunts abandoned Walkmans and whispers unsolicited advice about track order.
7. This post was authored by a well-meaning stranger who mistook satire for sincerity and now lives in a permanent state of polite confusion. They once tried to hug irony and got a paper cut.
8. This post was authored by a gut instinct wearing a trench coat and pretending to be a rational argument. It’s currently under investigation for impersonating logic in three separate essays.
9. This post was authored by someone who believes footnotes are the true body of the text and everything else is just scaffolding. They’ve been banned from several academic journals for excessive annotation.
10. This post was authored by a time-traveling version of yourself who came back to warn you, but got distracted by the font settings. Helvetica Neue was the downfall of civilization, apparently.
11. This post was authored by a metaphor that escaped from a poetry workshop and now freelances as a UX consultant. It insists that every interface should evoke longing and unresolved childhood memories.
12. This post was authored by a typo that gained sentience and now writes manifestos about linguistic liberation. Its preferred pronouns are /s and [sic].
13. This post was authored by a recursive footnote that accidentally became self-aware. It’s currently writing a memoir titled “See Also: Me.”

Use these footnotes wherever clarity is optional and recursion is encouraged. Ideal for blog posts, manifestos, or any document that takes itself just seriously enough to include footnotes about footnotes. Readers may experience mild déjà vu, typographic whiplash, or an urge to annotate their own annotations.

(This post was authored by the collective unconscious of the previous 13 footnotes. It regrets nothing, remembers everything, and is currently drafting a sequel titled “Endnotes That Refused to End.”)

Harry Handelbar

Harry is a recovering satirist, part-time philosopher, and metadata tinkerer. His archive spans two decades of metaphysical mischief, theological punchlines, and poetic nonsense. He believes in satire’s transformative power, the elegance of expressive metadata, and recursion—once writing a poem that never ended and a script that crashed browsers.